Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Catholic ASS!
I received this as an email today and I though I would share it... I lmao', I hate spamming your mailboxes with this stuff so I rather blog it instead, here it is:
The Pastor's Ass
The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again.
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The Bishop fainted.
He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The Bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.
So be yourself and enjoy life.
Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Famous Sexual Quotes
"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."
* Tom Clancy
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex?...... Me neither."
* Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
* Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
* Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL."
* Lynn Lavner
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
* George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
* Sharon Stone
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
* Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
* Barbara Bush
"Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
* Robin Williams
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
* Roseanne
"Women need a reason to have sex. ! Men just need a place."
* Billy Crystal
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
* Dustin Hoffman
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
* Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
* Robin Williams
* Tom Clancy
"You know "that look" women get when they want sex?...... Me neither."
* Steve Martin
"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."
* Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
* Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 500SL."
* Lynn Lavner
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
* George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
* Sharon Stone
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
* Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
* Barbara Bush
"Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
* Robin Williams
"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
* Roseanne
"Women need a reason to have sex. ! Men just need a place."
* Billy Crystal
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
* Dustin Hoffman
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
* Rod Stewart
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
* Robin Williams
10 Important Facts about Life.
Today while surfing the net I have learned 10 of the most surprising medical facts for you to consider while going about your daily chores:
1) No-one in the entire world can touch all their own teeth with their tongue.
2) Mad people everywhere are now trying this.
4) You've just tried, and discovered this to be untrue.
5) Now you're sitting there with a crazed smile on your face.
5) Bet you didn't notice that I'd skipped number 3!
6) And now you've gone back to check.
7) Bet you didn't notice that I'd skipped number 6 either.
8) Fooled again...
9) Bet you didn't notice that number 5 appears twice!
10) Now that hopefully you've got a smile on your face, remember that that's what it's all about, and go back to your daily chores...
POST! Comment? Subscribe.
1) No-one in the entire world can touch all their own teeth with their tongue.
2) Mad people everywhere are now trying this.
4) You've just tried, and discovered this to be untrue.
5) Now you're sitting there with a crazed smile on your face.
5) Bet you didn't notice that I'd skipped number 3!
6) And now you've gone back to check.
7) Bet you didn't notice that I'd skipped number 6 either.
8) Fooled again...
9) Bet you didn't notice that number 5 appears twice!
10) Now that hopefully you've got a smile on your face, remember that that's what it's all about, and go back to your daily chores...
POST! Comment? Subscribe.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
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